A different kind of tired...

 Sometimes when I try to explain my disease, I get the feeling that I can't really explain it no matter how hard I try.  The symptoms can be vague or ambiguous at times, and it is so different for each Addison's patient.  Lana writes about her experiences with Addison's on her blog Finding Lana.  She is so much more articulate than I am.  While she has had a different experience than me with Addison's and battled it much longer- I really enjoy having another blogger to identify with.  Here she describes the almost inexpressible feeling that Addisonians often face:

"Even now and then, after almost ten years of experience with Addison's, there are days when I feel an overall sense of unwellness. Sometimes, my vision will go a bit blurry. I just feel rotten - dragging. There is not enough rest, not enough exercise, not enough steroids...not enough of anything to alleviate this kind of malaise. There might not be anything to be found that is finger-pointing wrong, not in particular, just a sense of dragging and an incredible, oppressing heaviness that can't be shaken. This is the bad business-end of Addison's disease. The hard truth is...there are times when I take extra meds, but there's nothing that can wash away the mysterious pressing upon my body. Those are the days that harsh realities in this world come to light and I admit that Addison's Disease can be unkind, but my determination can be just as formidable."

It's nice to know that someone else knows how it can be.  Some days I don't feel like I'm any different than anyone else.  Other days I get to the end of the day and I feel like I'm out of energy completely.  It's not just being tired after a long day, it's Addison's tired.  It's an emotional, can't make a decision to save my life, sick to my stomach, arms and legs heavy kind of feeling.  But knowing that it happens and having ways to deal with it makes all the difference.  You give yourself a break.  Take extra medicine.  Don't put pressure on yourself to be perfect.  And do the best you can.  Life always looks brighter after a night's rest.