Ok, here it is, finally! The story of the night BL asked me to marry him, and I said YES!
The weekend of our one year anniversary was the first weekend we had to spend together, with no plans, and BL wasn't scheduled to work in a long time. So I packed Brody in the car and headed north. We talked about just enjoying the time, not making any big plans or anything (!).
We both love Pei Wei, so I thought we should try PF
Changs on Saturday night since BL had never had it before. We had a great dinner. We talked about life and our relationship over lettuce wraps and shrimp and chicken. I admitted to
him that it's been hard not having the future all planned out in front
of us, and that it can be a
struggle for me at times. I said that I was working on trusting God and
trusting him. He said, "I hate to see you worry, what can I do to help
you trust me more?" I said, just to pray and keep me updated if things
change for him. I didn't feel a ton better after that, but it was a
relief to be even more open about my feelings than I had been before. I was
trying to protect him from increased pressure if he knew that I was
struggling. He's already stressed enough... but he was glad that I
talked about it. He kept asking if I felt better, and if I was ok. I was
ok, just thoughtful and a little ashamed that I wasn't strong and
confident despite the uncertainty of the future. I told him that it was just something that I was going to have to work on.
Then
we went home and listened to music and danced and got all romantic-
just talking about the last year and how blessed we feel to have found
each other. We started telling each other things we love about each other. After winding down a few minutes later, he
said "You know what
else I love? your ring...."
I was confused, but assumed he was talking
about the ring I wear all the time on my right hand, and started to talk
about that, and he interrupted me and said "No, this ring..." and
pulled out a big sparkly ring from his pocket!
I was stunned. I was
completely speechless for about 30 seconds. I cried and laughed at the
same time, and then he said, "Will you marry me?" and I said, "Of course
I will marry you!!" At that point I remember thinking that my
voice didn't sound like my own and I felt like I was floating. He
put the ring on my finger (it fits perfectly) and we hugged and kissed
and laughed for a few minutes before we finally had to sit down and take
it all in.
We didn't call anyone until the next morning, it was nice to
just revel in the moment and tell each other over and over how happy we
were. I couldn't put my thoughts into words and I was glad that he
hadn't done in a huge, extravagant way, because
then I would have known it was about to happen. This way, I was totally
caught off guard, and I will always treasure those moments when I was
truly and genuinely surprised.
Looking
back on the night, I feel silly about out conversation we had at
dinner. But most of the concerns I had shared are pretty much gone now. (imagine that...) I still need to work on being content in each day and stage of life,
but there's something about being engaged... I feel like it gives me a new
sense of security, and it gives me permission to plan and dream about
our wedding. I kept myself from doing that too much before then because I
didn't want to get ahead of myself.
Now we're wedding planning and I'm loving every minute of it! My
pinterest page takes forever to load because I've pinned so many pictures in the last few weeks.
P.S. If you'd like a Pinterest invite, let me know!
